Hindsight – A Perfect Vision?

This is not your typical devotion but rather a story that I need to tell and I pray that it offers you an opportunity to look back at some event in your own life and learn from it.

Webster defines hindsight as an understanding of an event or situation only after it has occurred. We often hear the phrase “hindsight is 20/20”, meaning we can see it all perfectly after the fact. A while back I wrote a story about two students arguing over whether or not God was real and then showing them an acorn. Well, let me tell you the rest of the story and you will see that even though I knew what could happen, I was powerless to stop it.

There is nothing that breaks a teacher’s heart more than something horrible happening to one of her students. It is multiplied when it happens to two. Now I need you to know that this story takes place over a three year period. I was blessed and tormented for 3 years by a family; fear, verbal abuse, and tortured minds. I was asked to take a Kindergarten class when the teacher that had been there left at the last minute. I was greeted with 20 something smiling faces. One of which belonged to a little round faced, black haired boy who was the poster child for Native Americans. I’ll just call him WD. I was greeted by the parents who presented me with a hand-written letter telling me that I was being given their greatest treasure and that they would be praying for me. Well, l was honored and the letter was quite endearing. Never had anything happened like it before or since. That should have been a red flag. Now, I wish that I could tell you that I prayed over my students every day, but I can’t. I did pray at the beginning of the school year and at opportune moments. I was not without God at all. I was just not seasoned and diligent. (Side note: I ended up with the sister the next year and then the brother again in 2nd grade the year after, at the parents request.)

Well as time went on, we got to noticing that the dad would come and park near the kindergarten playground and watch. He was waiting for someone to screw up or mess with his child. It was creepy. It only took one little misunderstanding that was innocent, but not through his eyes, to call in the big dogs, the principal and eventually the district office. I discovered over the months that the Dad could spin a tale right up there with Louis La’Mour and David Baldacci. He would have you believing that he was in WITSEC (Federal Witness Protection), CIA, ex-military, etc. We never knew what he was going to tell. The sad part is, he grilled his son and probably daughter too, on everything that happened at school. This same man, who said he was praying for me on the first day of kindergarten, two years later, turned me in to the district for saying the blessing before lunch. It was all ok as I was somewhat prepared. The kids were so used to saying it in Kindergarten that when we lined up for lunch someone always asked to say it. Yep, no problem. Student led. Way to go kiddos. Once again, I wish this was the end of the story. The daddy was a control freak. Padlock on his gate to his yard and mail box taped shut with duct tape. Everyone knew it but there was nothing we could do. I could tell a dozen more stories about him, but they aren’t good. I had his son again in 2nd grade. However, that year was the last year that I would see those students or parents. Yet, there is still more to the story. It ended the day the dad killed his wife, as she was trying to get away from him, and then killed himself with his two children hiding in a closet. Only God knows the whole story. The children were secreted away, in protective custody, to another county.

DSS allowed me, the sister’s teacher, and school nurse to go visit them before they were sent away to other family, that the children had no knowledge of, out west to a reservation. That day, I walked in to the DSS safe house with a Bible for each of them and a suitcase full of clothes and stuffed animals. WD looked at me and said, “My daddy killed my mama”. How do you respond to that? “I know honey. I know”, was all I could say. We were all crying. I handed them each a Bible and said that I hoped they could find some comfort in knowing that God had taken care of them and that He would continue to do so. I was contacted many, many years later, through FB messenger by both of them. I wish I could say they were normal, God fearing Christians. It was not totally apparent but the fact that they reached out and were still alive brought a great measure of joy. I still pray for them.

The reason I titled this devotion “Hindsight” is even though I know what it means, it does not mean that the true understanding of events will ever be known to me. God has great plans for those two, now grown adults, if they accept his love. He knew that they would never be safe if they had remained in their current surroundings. I am the one who may never know, but God knew before they were born. (Jeremiah 1:5, Luke 12:6-7, Matthew 10:28-30) That is such a humbling thought and at the same time as I look back, I’m thinking, “Oh God! Did I do all that you needed me to do?” Sadly, I cannot answer that. I may never know but I can rest in the knowledge that God is in complete control.

The purpose of telling this story is to remind myself and you, that we never know the kind of impact that we might have on someone else’s life. If we are not firmly planted in God’s word and His will, then we may not recognize our opportunity, to be the one that God uses, to bring those whom are lost, closer to Him.